OH THE HORRORS OF EXERCISE....

There is no way to describe how much I loathe (and I do mean loathe) exercise of any kind! Call me lazy or call me unmotivated, I just hate it!! I'm sure there are many like myself that would do anything BUT exercise, especially if it meant being able to avoid it altogether.

Okay...so maybe it is a mental thing. I tell myself I am too overweight for my height. I stand a mere 5' 2" so I'm at a disadvantage when it comes to my weight. I'm not tall enough to allow for extra weight to be evenly distributed throughout my body without it landing in places where I'd rather not have extra weight...boobs aside. Granted I don't weigh as much as some and have never had to resign myself to heading to the Plus size section in a department store to purchase my clothes. I've always managed to stay within (barely) the confines of the 'original sized' women's clothing...you know the size range from Sz. 2-16. I've never reached Sz. 16 and quite frankly have never seen a Sz. 2 on my body. The days of wearing a Sz 6, 8 or 10 even, have been apart from me for quite a few years. I guess I've just settled for being a Sz 12 or 14 and yet have continually thought about my weight & how I look through the years.

*me in Summer of 2007

I was never so discontent with myself before. I figured if I could still wear a pair of 'normal' sized jeans then I was good. But being the perfectionist that I am, good is never good enough. I'm my own worst critic.

*me Fall of 2007

I've always been in this back & forth struggle with myself; you know the one that convinces you that your current size & weight are perfectly okay & then there's the one that gives you a major guilt trip every time you eat something that you shouldn't & see other women you wished you looked like. It's a vicious cycle that never ends.

All the pictures that have been snapped of me in recent years never thrilled me but yet again, I would succumb to the notion that I didn't look 'that' bad in them. Until a recent pic was taken of me and I knew it was time to finally do something besides sit around wishing I would do something, I realized I had run out of excuses. I had to take action.

*closeup of me taken in August, 2008

(I hate closeups!!)

*another pic taken at same time in August, 2008

(Even though pictures don't lie, I look completely different in this pic.)

After seeing the above pics, I knew I couldn't make myself believe any longer that I looked okay. It was time to do something. It was time to get real. If I wanted to be healthier, stronger, and look better so I'd stop beating myself up about how I looked or my weight, I needed to just get up off my lazy behind and DO something about it for a change. I mean after all, merely thinking about it was not going to enable me to think my way thin.

So..I suppose you wonder if I've acted on my thoughts. Well..the answer is "Yes, I have!" I just started an exercise program at home last evening. I purchased these DVD's that help tone & sculpt the body called, "Turbo Jam". There are different levels to the DVD's to enable someone to follow the exercise level that best suits them according to whether they are beginner, advanced or intermediate. I must say I had forgotten just how long it had been since I did aerobic exercise. Thinking back it was well before Megan (my oldest, who will soon be 18) was ever conceived and after she was born. I haven't so much as done a lunge, crunch, or stretch since that time unless it was absolutely necessary or part of my normal daily movement. But surprisingly the exercise wasn't that bad & needless to say, I knew just how out of shape I was at the end of the routine by the amount of sweat that had excreted from my pores and was running amuck upon my face and rolling down my back.

As much as I have dreaded even hearing the word 'exercise', it was actually a lot of fun. And the sense of accomplishment I felt at the end of the routine far outweighed all the negative thoughts I've had about myself or my weight over all this time. What a great feeling!

So...over the coming weeks, I'll be recording my progress right here on my blog (and pics) once I have something to show for my efforts! LOL So, wish me luck! I'm gonna need it! Hey...and prayers are good too that I don't collaspe during this first week of working out!

Well..gotta run...I've got a workout to do! Until next time....Happy Stitching! :)