TOO MANY IRONS IN THE FIRE...& THEY'RE ALL SMOKIN'!!!

Do you ever find yourself in a major funk???? I'm talking about what I like to refer to as 'burn-out funk'. This results when one has too many irons in the fire or too many projects going at once & yet, feeling as though none of them are getting done. And then as a result, lack of motivation sets in & then its difficult getting started again.

I've just described myself to a tee!!!! I'm the world's largest proponent of having so many projects going on at the same time & finding there's never enough time to complete them all. My biggest problem is I have too many hobbies. Unlike most folks who can be completely content with just one hobby, I find the busier I am the more content I tend to be. I don't like being idle and yet when faced with everything I'd like to accomplish versus what I am actually able to accomplish, I almost drive myself completely nuts. You see, I'm a perfectionist and I strive to do many things. My life is full of hobbies & projects which I all equally love! I haven't managed to find that perfect balance (if there is such a thing) between all my projects so I at least feel like I'm getting somewhere.

I'm convinced that this must be some form of mental illness. First of all, if you love cross-stitching as much as I do, then it can safely be assumed that you have to be a little bit on the insane side. We start projects that progress nicely and then all of a sudden we hit a brick wall. No...I'm not talking about the project becomes too difficult to finish. Rather we get distracted. We visit our LNS, Michaels or Hobby Lobby and we see new stash that we convince ourselves that we just have to have. We are constantly finding new patterns to stitch. So what do we do...instead of finishing the current project we're working on, we start the new project that we lie to ourselves once more that we will stitch 'this one' until we finish. The same is true of crocheters & knitters. (I'm in this group of people too!!!) We buy yarn like its going out of style. You let Michaels downsize one of their yarn brands, and we knitters & crocheters will think we've died & gone to heaven when we can purchase skeins of yarn for $1/skein!!!!

I'd like to think I'm no different than the next person when it comes to my hobbies, but I'll let you be the judge. Besides cross-stitching & crocheting, you may have read in earlier posts or on my other blog that I am also writing a book. This is yet another favorite past-time that I've dabbled in since I was about 9 or 10 yrs old. Last August I decided I'd try my hand at writing my 1st fiction novel....a romance/suspense novel. I'm down to my last 5 chapters and all of a sudden I just feel like I have no clue what to write. The entire book has flowed from start to finish and it isn't like I don't know what I'm going to write in those last 5 chapters. But the urge to write has left me. I'm anxious to get the book finished by the end of the year so I can begin pitching it to agents & publishers early in 2009. And thus far, the entire book has been written in spurts of writing urges that have hit me here & there for the past year. I don't think its writer's block as much as it is the simple fact that up until now I've been relaxed about the whole thing. There's been no deadlines to meet, and now that I've set a goal for myself to try and be done with it by the end of the year, I've just locked up. I keep telling myself that time is running out.

Another hobby that I have is my internet radio station called Jukebox Junction Radio. Now of all the hobbies I partake in, this keeps me the least busy. Outside of keeping the station updated with all the latest hits & rotating out my playlist from the thousands of songs I have in my music library, it basically just runs itself. Recently I spent an entire afternoon uploading my Christmas library of songs to prepare for the upcoming holiday season. It was quite time consuming and I thought I would NEVER get done, but am glad now that I took the time to get it taken care of. Now when the time comes to begin playing all that Christmas music, I'll be one step ahead of the game.

And then on top of that, I had mentioned in an earlier post that I'm currently working on my daughter's Christmas stocking as well as 2 crocheted afghans and a set of crocheted placemats for my stepmom. Everything is coming along, but I'm feeling the pressure & keep telling myself that I'll never be done in time for the holidays! I honestly don't know why I work so hard to put so much pressure on myself!!! I've always been this way. I'm an overachiever in the worst way!!! Hobbies are supposed to be enjoyable...otherwise, why in the world would we ever engage in them??? I have to admit I'm just a little bit stressed!!!!

I need a schedule & I need one bad!!! I tend to work well when my life is all planned out. Hey, don't laugh!!! Who says kids are the only ones who need structure in their lives????? One thing is for certain, no one can ever accuse me when I'm gone one day of not having lived life to the fullest!!! Now whether I will have accomplished half of what I've set out to do remains to be seen....

Please excuse me while I go do a little stitching. Or wait, did I mean to say crocheting? No, that's not it, I meant that I have a chapter waiting to be written. No, scratch that...I've got some more new music to upload to my radio station. Oh, heck, I think I'll just go workout instead!!!

Until next time....Happy Stitching! :)

OH THE HORRORS OF EXERCISE....

There is no way to describe how much I loathe (and I do mean loathe) exercise of any kind! Call me lazy or call me unmotivated, I just hate it!! I'm sure there are many like myself that would do anything BUT exercise, especially if it meant being able to avoid it altogether.

Okay...so maybe it is a mental thing. I tell myself I am too overweight for my height. I stand a mere 5' 2" so I'm at a disadvantage when it comes to my weight. I'm not tall enough to allow for extra weight to be evenly distributed throughout my body without it landing in places where I'd rather not have extra weight...boobs aside. Granted I don't weigh as much as some and have never had to resign myself to heading to the Plus size section in a department store to purchase my clothes. I've always managed to stay within (barely) the confines of the 'original sized' women's clothing...you know the size range from Sz. 2-16. I've never reached Sz. 16 and quite frankly have never seen a Sz. 2 on my body. The days of wearing a Sz 6, 8 or 10 even, have been apart from me for quite a few years. I guess I've just settled for being a Sz 12 or 14 and yet have continually thought about my weight & how I look through the years.

*me in Summer of 2007

I was never so discontent with myself before. I figured if I could still wear a pair of 'normal' sized jeans then I was good. But being the perfectionist that I am, good is never good enough. I'm my own worst critic.

*me Fall of 2007

I've always been in this back & forth struggle with myself; you know the one that convinces you that your current size & weight are perfectly okay & then there's the one that gives you a major guilt trip every time you eat something that you shouldn't & see other women you wished you looked like. It's a vicious cycle that never ends.

All the pictures that have been snapped of me in recent years never thrilled me but yet again, I would succumb to the notion that I didn't look 'that' bad in them. Until a recent pic was taken of me and I knew it was time to finally do something besides sit around wishing I would do something, I realized I had run out of excuses. I had to take action.

*closeup of me taken in August, 2008

(I hate closeups!!)

*another pic taken at same time in August, 2008

(Even though pictures don't lie, I look completely different in this pic.)

After seeing the above pics, I knew I couldn't make myself believe any longer that I looked okay. It was time to do something. It was time to get real. If I wanted to be healthier, stronger, and look better so I'd stop beating myself up about how I looked or my weight, I needed to just get up off my lazy behind and DO something about it for a change. I mean after all, merely thinking about it was not going to enable me to think my way thin.

So..I suppose you wonder if I've acted on my thoughts. Well..the answer is "Yes, I have!" I just started an exercise program at home last evening. I purchased these DVD's that help tone & sculpt the body called, "Turbo Jam". There are different levels to the DVD's to enable someone to follow the exercise level that best suits them according to whether they are beginner, advanced or intermediate. I must say I had forgotten just how long it had been since I did aerobic exercise. Thinking back it was well before Megan (my oldest, who will soon be 18) was ever conceived and after she was born. I haven't so much as done a lunge, crunch, or stretch since that time unless it was absolutely necessary or part of my normal daily movement. But surprisingly the exercise wasn't that bad & needless to say, I knew just how out of shape I was at the end of the routine by the amount of sweat that had excreted from my pores and was running amuck upon my face and rolling down my back.

As much as I have dreaded even hearing the word 'exercise', it was actually a lot of fun. And the sense of accomplishment I felt at the end of the routine far outweighed all the negative thoughts I've had about myself or my weight over all this time. What a great feeling!

So...over the coming weeks, I'll be recording my progress right here on my blog (and pics) once I have something to show for my efforts! LOL So, wish me luck! I'm gonna need it! Hey...and prayers are good too that I don't collaspe during this first week of working out!

Well..gotta run...I've got a workout to do! Until next time....Happy Stitching! :)

THE DOCTOR IS IN!

It's that time of year! (No...I'm not referring to the wonderful season of Fall that is just right around the corner.) Rather, I'm speaking of that time of year when school has now been in session for a mere four weeks and my kids have already begun to get sick!

The very first week of school, my son, Cameron, came down with a bad case of strep throat. He missed three days. (You know he was sick! After all, he's a big 8th grader this year, and no 8th grader alive would want to miss their first & easiest week of the school year!!) But it happened to him.

Then the following week I was sick. I blogged about it in a previous post! I NEVER get sick! So this bug was NOT nice. The ever living nerve of it making ME sick of all people!!! I guess the little critter didn't get the memo that moms are exempt from being sick!!!

And as if that wasn't a heck of a way to kick off a new school year, then my daughter, Hannah, started complaining of her throat hurting on Friday. By Saturday she was coughing, had fever, fatigue and runny nose, and off to the walk-in we went only to find out that she had a sinus infection. Being that she had her tonsils out a little over a year ago, I knew it couldn't be strep. But shouldn't having surgery to remove her tonsils & adnoids also make her exempt from any future germs that might come her way??? Guess, those germs didn't get the memo on that either!!!

And yet again, this past Sunday, Cameron told me his throat felt scratchy. Now mind you, he just had been off antibiotics for strep a little over a week. Low & behold, he awoke this morning, coughing his head off!!

Oh while I'm on my soapbox, I guess its only fair to share the part of this story about how both my kids have asthma and when school resumes they begin to endure various sicknesses throughout the fall & winter months. Oh, we do all the necessary things to prevent their asthma from flaring, including the hand washing thing to ward off germs. And we've been dealing with 'seasonal sickness' for pretty much all of their school life to date, but if I could figure out a way to keep them well during this time of year, I think I'd have a lot of parents buying into the formula & I'd be one rich cookie!!

So now, the school year has officially begun! Yea, I know it technically started four weeks ago, but not by my standards. Until the kids have begun to sniff, sneeze, & cough, things are not in full swing! If it weren't for this one little issue that crops up every year for my kids, Fall would be my favorite time of the year. Okay...looking on the bright side, I suppose it is my favorite time of the year because it leads into the holiday season which I am a huge fan of! There is always the hope that this year won't be quite as brutal as the last! Who has time to be sick? There's too much to do this time of year! Now if I can only get those little germy bugs to understand that!!!